Sometimes the Strangest Things Happen

From the Desk of the Professor:

Sometimes the strangest things happen.

When one has been in or around the Lifestyle for a while, you can get de-sensitized to things that may freak 'normal' people out. Like the time we were explaining to our first third (as in female partner, not as in First Third banking) about what swinger parties were like. She had never been to a party and though she was going to be with us, she was naturally apprehensive. Well, Ginger and I explained that the parties were very much like "normal" parties: people socialized and danced, except that it was often difficult by the end of the night to figure out who is partnered with whom. As a side note: Ginger has introduced me as the 'guy over there kissing the sexy woman' on more than one occasion. I suppose that is also different than most parties too.

Well as it turns out, the party our friend attended with us was over-the-top craziness. It happened to be on a boat and apparently we were in International waters because before too long, most everyone on the boat had removed more than one article of clothing. There was the female, buff plumber who kept doing pull ups on the canopy--completely naked. With the motion of the boat and the accumulated alcohol, it was a veritable free-for-all with dancing and groping. Then there was the couple having mindless sex--reverse cowgirl--while looking for who would be 'next'. Yikes! Not necessarily the easiest party to introduce your new female lover into the Lifestyle. In the end, she got comfortable and had a blast.

Sometimes the strangest things happen.

Fast forward now a couple of years. . .our first female lover is still very much a friend, but not active with us physically. About a year and a half ago, she started a monogamous relationship with another woman. We stay in touch. . .with occasional dinner and dancing. And then we find out from her new girlfriend that they share a mutual interest in the "pleasures of the occasional man." Now, I'm a man for THAT occasion. Sometimes the dancing gets pretty hot, but it's never boiled over into the bedroom. We have never been in a rush . . .if it happens, we know it will be a no-holds-barred-hot-sex-all-night kind of affair. If it doesn't happen, we're ok with that too.

Sometimes the strangest things happen.

So we're out on a date with some other Lifestyle friends and Ginger's phone rings. It's our former lover's girlfriend. Odd. Ginger excuses herself and takes the call. She returns with the kind of smirk that requires an explanation. She had missed the call, but listened to the voicemail. Our friends's girlfriend (who we have not had sex with) wants to introduce us to a 'couple-friend' of hers. It was quite an interesting message as she struggled to find the words--"um, they are interested in, um, you know, um, extracurricular activities. . .and I thought of you." Apparently, she's now recruiting for Team Ginger and The Professor.

To recap, our former lover's girlfriend hooked us up on a blind date with two of her friends (male and female). And ironically, the date, set for this Saturday, will be on a boat.

Sometimes the strangest things happen.

Give It Away Now

From the Desk of the Professor:

Ginger and I love hosting parties. We enjoy creating the intimate, sexy atmosphere for friends to enjoy an evening of release. We do not tend to consider the economics of swinging. How does one 'monetize the value' we provide? More directly, how do we avoid losing our shirts? That is, recovering our costs. We do enjoy losing our shirts, but that is another story. . .

In June and then again in July, we organized parties at local hotels with a select group of friends. Both parties went off without a hitch. Better than that, the chemistry at both parties was great, even as most of the people attending had not met each other previously. Ginger and I both believe in the abundance mindset--while other swinger friends keep their "favorite" friends to themselves, we put them all in the same room and see what happens. A grand social experiment of sorts. For ingredients we add three or four hot couples and a single female--yes, we even invite the proverbial unicorn--and voila, we end up with sex in every room and a fluid, open dynamic.

For entertainment, we tried Rock Band II for the first party. Not so sexy. Apparently, not everyone wants to be rock stars as bad as Ginger and me. While we put ourselves out there like the singer Pitbull ("I party like a rock star, play like an All Star, fuck like a porn star. . ."), others are less willing. Well, we are quick learners. So for the last party we changed over to Jenga. A custom-made sexy Jenga that is. We wrote all over the Jenga pieces with different actions, and it was the proverbial hit. The penalty for knocking over the pieces was removing an article of clothing. The first round went great. There was kissing, touching, telling, and polling (such as "when did you lose your virginity?"). The second round went great, but with the increased heat in the room, the 'action' items needed to be kicked up a notch. So a word of advice: you may want to create your own warm up Jenga set, and then the 'advanced' action set for the second round. It may go without saying, but we didn't get past the second round. . .

Out of both experiences, we were left with not only a profound sense of satisfaction--sexual and social--but also a significantly lighter wallet. Since we live in a vacation area, summer room rates are even higher than usual. After the first party, we realized that people wouldn't necessarily offer to contribute toward the room. So for the second party, we explicitly asked in the invitation. Because everyone from the first party came back and there were some new couples, we had to upgrade to a larger room. We didn't update the party costs to reflect the higher room rates. And even then, not everyone paid.

So the point of sharing these experiences in the blogosphere? Perhaps to get some advice in the economics of swinging. Our problem is that we would rather focus our energy on creating the best experience for our friends--at nearly any cost. Yet, this realistically can't be a viable long-term strategy. But then again, when I think of seeing Ginger being pleased, over and over, the benefits are so much more than the costs!

"What I've got you've got to get it put it in you
Reeling with the feeling don't stop continue"
-Red Hot Chili Peppers