My very first time...just for you.

I'll let you in on something I'm doing for the very first time. That's right, I'm a virgin in this department: writing a sex toy review.

Like spreading dark chocolate sauce over Prof's gorgeous hard body and sensuously licking it off, I don't do it all the time, but sometimes I'm just overwhelmingly moved to do so.

With that said, I spent a luxurious amount of time in Good Vibrations in San Francisco looking for just the right delicious little device to keep me company while Prof and I were apart. I browsed the dildos, vibrators of varying sizes, BDSM accoutrements and other pulse-quickening goodies.

I eventually settled in to exploring the G-spot toys. G-spot orgasms are part of what makes life worth living as I shared in a past post, so I figured I could use a few in Prof's absence. Regardless of a recent study positing that the G-spot doesn't exist, I know that I have one, where it is, how to stimulate it and that, when I'm patient, it lends to the most satisfying orgasms in the history of the world. Take that, non-sexological genetic epidemiological researchers.

After careful consideration, I decided on the G-Ki by Je Joue. Little did I know at the time, my evening was going to get surprisingly more pleasant.

The toy itself is sleek and sexy with a choice of four colors...I chose black. Worth mentioning, the G-Ki is waterproof and lends itself nicely to couple and moresomes play. It has a cool magnetic charging system for those who are dazzled by clever gadgetry. The controls are a simple + and - with five strengths of vibration and five varying pulses. Simply progress through the vibrations with the + to reach the moan-inducing pulses.

I settled in with my G-Ki and started, as they recommended, with it in the most straight position. Have your favorite lubricant on hand as you get started. (I enjoy Sliquid Organics which you can get from the Smitten Kitten...although I didn't need it that night. I was too fired up for my new toy.) Time for + 1...then + 2...then + 3...ahhh...lovely.

As I started breathing a little heavier, I tilted the adjustable head so it nodded in toward my increasingly humming G-spot. That was oh so fantastic. After almost going for it and calling it a night, I decided to press on in the name of passing along quality, thorough information to all you sexy people...so on to + 4...+ 5...then pulse. Oh my. Time to get serious.

I stopped long enough to tilt the lower adjustable spot so my G-Ki was attending both my G-spot and my clitoris. Now back to the pulse. I used the Je Joue website's recommended rocking motion to give attention to every single spot that was requiring it. I could have chosen to take a breather and prolong the ecstasy, but happily it's my very own toy and I don't need to ration the orgasms. The G-Ki certainly earned its name that night. Yum.

The G-Ki was $99 at Good Vibrations, so it is an investment. If you can only buy one toy with your entire sex toy budget, this one is worth it.

Now if you'll excuse me, after writing this review, I'm reminded I have orgasms ready and waiting.

Headed to the O Zone

You're traveling to another dimension, a dimension, not only of sight and sound, but of mind; a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. Next stop, the O Zone. . .

Okay, hotties, I am over-aroused and under-sexed right now. Anticipating a weekend during which I am transported to the O Zone over and over, I thought it would be fun to share the list Prof and I created of the types of orgasms I experience. This is anything but a scientific or clinical description of types of orgasms. The names and descriptions are based solely on our multi-orgasmic personal experience.

I will say, that I believe that every person, including you too guys, is capable of multiple orgasms. The mind is the most sensitive erogenous zone, yet the trickiest to surrender during sexual experience. More on that in a later post.

As I wander through the O Zone accompanied by luscious, skilled lovers or all by myself, these are a few choice climaxes I encounter:

• Quick and dirty: Just what it sounds like. . .it usually comes from penetration, often from behind, when we have just a few minutes. These are the primer orgasms. A bit satisfying, but really they just wind me up for more sexy action later.
• TGIF: I love the TGIF. It's the result of long lingering sex play and is what many refer to as the blended orgasm: stimulation of both the clitoris and G-spot resulting in an orgasm that turns me into that panting, sweaty, utterly satisfied woman dozing off in your bed.
• Synchro: This orgasm happens when Prof and I hit the O Zone simultaneously. Synchronized orgasms include the added satisfaction for me of feeling his body climaxing at the same time. Oh my.
• DP: Ooohh. . .the DP is the full-body, knock-out-punch orgasm that happens when I'm patient enough for the clitoral, vaginal and anal stimulation to crescendo together.
• Fingercuffs: From the truly excellent, not-to-be-missed film Chasing Amy, lesbianish love interest, Alyssa, is nicknamed Fingercuffs for enjoying oral and penetration at the same time. For me, this is an awesome mind-fuck orgasm all its own because it's so dirty and so crazy hot.
• The empty O: The empty O happens when climaxing with no penetration. Oh so many ways this O can happen, mostly during delicious grinding, receiving or giving fantastic oral or during a strap-on session. Yes, you read that right. ::wink::
• Straight up G: Usually some time into penetrative sex there comes a time when the G-spot becomes undeniable. This orgasm is straight up G-spot stimulation and hurts so good.
• Endorphin addict: Any orgasm resulting from athletic or BDSM-related play. These climaxes have a fantastic edge. I am addicted.
• Juicy fruit: Any climax accompanied by ejaculation. I'm not fond of the term "squirter" because it has become so exploited in porn. Therefore, when I go to that place, I am simply "juicy" and call the O a "juicy fruit." And when I see the gum while checking out at the grocery store, I get that naughty smirk on my face.
• The smother: This is the orgasm that always accompanies being full of a large cock or dildo. I'm a fan. . .a big fan.
• Porno: Even while engaged in porn-like, intense in-and-out penetration, I can orgasm. It is usually a teaser orgasm making me crave slower, deeper grinding.
• Squeeze: Yummy! The Kegel orgasm! It's the go-anywhere, do it in traffic O! To all my sexy, female hotties: do those Kegels for yourself. You never know where you might end up accidentally orgasming. And, guys, Kegels aren't just for the sexy women, those are the same muscles that play a role in your ability to ejaculate at just the right time.
• The Diddy and the P Diddy: These are the masturbation-induced climaxes. The Diddy is sans penetration and the P Diddy includes penetration; these orgasms always seem to leave me wanting more, not sure if their namesake would.
• South African style: Inspired by sexy friends, this type of orgasm happens without any physical stimulation at all. It is purely a mind-body energy O. Not for the impatient or the skeptical, this climax is a full-body orgasm worth every bit of the surrender it takes to experience.
• "And that's kicking your ass": Last, but hardly least, the name of this O is an homage to the fight scene in Charlie's Angels where Drew Barrymore's character, Dylan, announces to a room full of unconscious men she just knocked out one by one, "And that's kicking your ass!" It is after this climax that I am barely conscious myself.

I must be clear this list is not, I repeat, not, meant to imply that the orgasm is the ultimate goal of sex play. The phrase "enjoy the journey" is meant to refer to sex. Broaden your definition of orgasm to include those delicious peaks of energy that happen while playing. Having a goal line mentality, that the big O is the grand finale, limits your ability to enjoy the natural high and low tides of pleasure while playing. Mindful sex play, being in the moment, good old sensate focus not only makes for more erotic sex, but also is the gateway to the O Zone if, indeed, you wish to wander through during your sexy session.

**The Prof and I would like to thank two sexy friends for creating and sharing our awesome new banner! You guys rock!**

Be hot AND smooth. . .it's all about atmosphere, baby.

Atmosphere goes a long way with me.

I've discovered that atmosphere is key a factor in the extent to which I can let go during a sexual experience. The Prof, as you can imagine, is keenly aware of this and essentially goes on autopilot when we arrive at our party accommodations to finesse the room.

Likely most people, when asked, would share that they too enjoy a sexy atmosphere in which to play. Interestingly enough, this doesn't always translate into an actual sexy atmosphere on the part of all hosts.

We can appreciate that it does take some work and forethought to facilitate an erotic atmosphere. Most likely, the lack of any preparation for hosting lovers is simply lack of time, and truthfully, just the result of throwing on hottie clothes and running off to the party! We know. . .we can't wait to hit the dance floor and start flirting either!

So, in the interest of advancing erotic atmospheres and facilitating the maximum number of orgasms in all swinger sex dens and play rooms, we humbly offer this brief checklist for those whose brains are already muddled by hormones and energy shots:

• Lights low?
• Music playing?
• Condoms and lube on the side tables?
• Lots of water around?
• Fruit and chocolate available?

Simple, quick and don't you look smooth? Hells yeah.

Depending on what we are in the mood for, we might have fun sex games available, like those the indomitable Sex is Fun crew recommend available at greatsexgames.com. Of course, a naughty round of body shots or a few strategically placed hits of whipped cream can instantly make the erotic energy crackle.

We might also make the toys and restraints available. We try to gauge whether or not certain sexual accoutrements may make too strong an impression on rookies or slightly vanilla friends. No judgment. . .just being sensitive.

Finessing a hot, orgasm-inducing atmosphere certainly isn't required. But it definitely ensures that all that pent up energy from the flirting and the dance floor can be focused on your lovers and not on moving the shoe she just sat on to the closet or searching and searching (and searching. . .) for those condoms you thought you put in this pocket.

We know you are that hot. Now make sure you are that smooth.

[Cue the porn soundtrack]

Wait for it. . .wait for it. . .

The Prof and I have some fun, sexy times scheduled into the calendar over the next few months: great parties, a hot trip and a few dates sprinkled in between. Sounds fantastic! The trick is, in the meantime, we have all-vanilla-all-the-time. This has been causing me angst. As it is, I'm not known for my patience, maybe for corsets or really dirty Dirty Martinis, but certainly not my patience.

So to cope with my raw impatience and subsequent angst, I am reframing my angst as delicious anticipation. Isn't it true that at least part of the enjoyment of sexy fun is the anticipation of said fun? Anticipation comes in various forms. I have chosen three of my favorites.

• Fantasy! Whenever we have sexy fun on the horizon, The Prof and I undoubtedly spend time in the hot tub or in bed talking about all the hotties we look forward to seeing at the upcoming party and all the fun friends we have yet to meet. How can this anticipatory dialogue not turn into an enthusiastic and spectacular romp? The thing is, it is indeed fantasy. . .we aren't planning our seductions or expecting any particular action. We are gleaning every bit of pleasure and every single orgasm out of the luscious anticipation without one bit of expectation of with whom, if anyone, we actually play on party night.

• Flirting! I love to flirt: the clever and leading banter, the casual, yet pointed, touching, the steamy eye contact. . .oh, yum! Flirting is the embodiment of anticipation. That feeling of trying someone on, the give and take of blossoming arousal, is an integral part of the seduction dance. As an advanced flirter, you know that flirting is just as sexy when it is just for flirting's sake. That anticipation and potential sexual energy may become kinetic later in the evening or months from now. Either way, the anticipation works its magic and you find yourself turned on.

• Foreplay! Oh my. . .the slower and more deliberate, the better, as far as I am concerned! Foreplay is just delicious: hot breath on my neck, strong hands grasping my hips, touching those often overlooked erogenous zones like wrists, behind the knees and the lower back. Mmmm. . .yeah. A relaxed, patient lover is a confident lover. And I know what that usually means for me: more orgasms! Anticipation while playing heightens orgasmic response. Orgasm edging, getting your partner almost there then letting the feeling subside only to bring them close again (and again), is experiencing anticipation in its most raw and sensual embodiment. The reward for enduring such anticipation is the amazing pleasure of the prolonged build up of the physiological sexual cocktail of hormones as well as a mind-blowing orgasm (or two or three. . .).

Wow! On that note, it seems as though I convinced myself of the virtues of anticipation. Truthfully, I am not feeling much more patient despite those virtues. However, I am willing to get as much pleasure as I can from the anticipation knowing that the experiences themselves will be that much hotter.

Mmmm...mmm...oh...uh...huh...yeah...yeah...YES!

It seems as though I have been inundated with exposure to all things female orgasm lately: personal conversations, news articles, books, research, podcasts. . . I have gleaned a number of titillating and novel insights from these various sources, but first my personal perspective.

Any and all orgasms are good orgasms. Interestingly, the history of the researched female orgasm includes a debate, initiated by Freud, about which orgasm is the best orgasm ably alluded to most recently here by Domina Doll and in the presentation in question, this Dodson and Ross video.

It seems to me that this debate about orgasms is a lot like a debate about the comparative value of varietals of chocolate. We certainly all have our preferences among the options, but isn't the bottom line that chocolate is fantastic?

Unfortunately, among the sexually less-enlightened, many women must be convinced that orgasms have a place in their lives at all. This is particularly true for the many partnered women who have handed over their sexuality to their male partners for his sole pleasure. Sad, but true. Those women hold a special place in my heart. They are the women I feel most passionately about sharing the perspective that orgasms have value in their lives and how to get to that place where they own their sexuality.

So, with that said, I encourage support for experiencing any and all orgasms in any way and for any reason you get to "O." The following is some "juicy" orgasmic trivia:

Orgasmic Fun Fact #1: Orgasms have life prolonging potential.

One way to share the message for the widest possible audience to hear it is to point to the fact that research has shown that the mere experience of orgasms prolongs your life! Is there anyone who can argue against that? Granted the research is not broad (yet), but any research that shows that something wildly pleasurable and utterly safe prolongs my life is research to follow in my book.

Orgasmic Fun Fact #2: Some research has shown the wealthier the male partner, the more orgasms to expect.

Researchers at Newcastle University who are studying the utility of the female orgasm have found a connection between wealth of a male partner and the frequency of orgasm for their female partners. According to this study, the ability to make a living and an orgasm are connected. They maintain it is an evolutionary adaptation for women to seek "high-quality" mates with financial success and the ability to give orgasms as indicators of quality. Clearly, I need to create a seminar for men entitled: "The Way to Financial Success is Through Her Clitoris" or "How to Make Your First G-Spot Million."

Orgasmic Fun Fact #3: Orgasms can and do happen during childbirth.

The taboo connection between sex and childbirth has always puzzled me. I mean, really, how did most of us end up getting here in the first place? Likely after 40 weeks or so after our moms got it on. When that time comes, women are culturally conditioned to believe that childbirth is the most excruciating experience they will ever go through. However, as many birth attendants will tell you, when women are allowed to experience natural childbirth (which is becoming more rare in the U.S.) orgasms can and do happen. So there it is. It isn't my preferred route to the big O, but for those of you that can make it happen, I say "hells yeah, sister!"

Orgasmic Fun Fact #4: Sexologists can ascertain whether a woman orgasms vaginally by how she walks.

A study done by researchers in Scotland and Belgium showed that trained sexologists could tell 80% of the time whether a woman experienced vaginal orgasms. The correlation is connected to a longer, fluid, more confident stride. Now the reality is that their are layers of complex connection here that I could take hours to dive into from a sexological perspective. But I'll save that for another time. I will second Suzie Heumann's prescription that women who are interested in broadening their orgasmic repertoire to include the vaginal orgasm should include fun activities that increase their pelvic flexibility and movement. And plenty of Kegels can only help.

Orgasmic Fun Fact #5: We have so much to learn about the female orgasm.

I am supportive of all the research we can possibly do on the female orgasm. Every single woman is capable of and deserves to have as many orgasms as she can! In the meantime, read The Science of Orgasm to brush up on your scientific knowledge to date.

Orgasmic Fun Fact #6: There are infinite ways to reach orgasm. Try them all!

Now is the experiential part of the presentation. Go have fun!