We have been together for 17 years…we met when Ginger was the irresistible college cheerleader, too hot to be approachable, but confident enough to ask me out. Yay me! Prior to when we met, she’d perfected her technique in giving head thanks to the starting quarterback and select other football players volunteering their hard cocks for her practice. If it sounds cliché that the football players were using the cute cheerleader, then you’ve actually got it backward. Ginger was thoroughly enjoying using them, and the control that she had over them as a result.
Though all of her sexual skills are amazing, her blowjobs are at the top…she can suck the biggest, thickest cocks right down to the balls…she truly enjoys cocks of all sizes and can bring herself to orgasm in the midst of a blow job without missing a beat (and with no hands)…in a moment of passion, one of our friends exclaimed “God, you suck cock like a pro.” If it wasn’t one of our closest and most trusted friends, it may have been awkward to find out how he’d come up with that!
Ginger Succumbs
In the beginnings of our relationship, Ginger had not yet become her insatiable sexual self. Despite all the services for the football team, she didn’t seek any reciprocity from the guys so when we met, her orgasmic potential was not yet fully developed. I still remember the first time I gave her oral sex…she was hesitant at first…warmed slowly…then got so wet and excited as her inhibitions faded…then came so hard that she was surprised. One of the differences for her? A more delicate touch. Less is more. Guys learning how to lick pussy from porn movies jump right in and are very aggressive. Ginger’s clit is uber-sensitive and deep sucking on it will never bring her off. FYI.
From Fantasy to Reality
The fantasy play (pre-open relationship) that we engaged in was the most important part for us to develop and define our sexual relationship. Ginger initially wasn’t much of a talker, but I was super turned on by hearing about her sexual experiences and history. As we’d recount those stories, her body would get very aroused. I’d point that out. Then we’d talk more, or turn her prior sexual experiences into more of a fantasy direction. “Can you imagine how good it would have felt for you to take his hard cock out of your mouth and to slip it into your pussy?” Then I’d play it out while we fucked…making up and adjusting the narrative as her body responded in different ways. I’d sense if it wasn’t working and then move the story in a different direction. Occasionally, she’d say “tell me more” or “oh, not that.” She was always welcome to contribute, but didn’t find her voice often (which has now changed!).
Our fantasy play would happen in fits and spurts (no pun intended) as we became comfortable with opening ourselves, and our desires, to each other. More than anything, paying attention to her body’s reaction was really important for figuring out what was truly erotic versus what was just not doing it for her. Sometimes she’d be quiet, so there were no verbal cues but her pussy would be very, very wet. Other times she’d be more vocal—the occasional “mmm” or breathless “yeah”—letting me know we were on the right track. Ginger was comfortable expressing that she wasn’t into an idea or fantasy and we’d go in a different direction. Sometimes, I’d challenge her, gently, by point out that she didn’t need to “over-think” it—that following her body’s reaction was best—and to let go of judging herself for being turned on by an idea. We talked a lot about other men…then introduced the idea of other women…first with me and eventually with her. It all really got her hot. Then we started talking about her social interactions with women and when she’d find herself getting wet “for no reason.” Welcome to bisexuality Ginger! And thanks to the hot, inked and adorned coffee girl for pushing her over the edge! Gin still gets enormously turned on by the Suicide Girl look.
Unicorn, Briefly Recounted
We’ve referred in other posts to our first non-monogamous sexual experience with another woman. Without knowing anything, we posted on Craigslist and luckily found an amazing person to start the journey. In her first meeting with our friend, Ginger said the woman was absolutely stunning, and smart, but a little spastic. She told me about how the woman jumped up in the middle of the conversation and hustled off to the bathroom. Ginger wasn’t sure if it was over, but come to find out, the woman’s bra had mysteriously come unfastened. That’s some strong energy! Be forewarned ladies!
Orgasm is to Ginger as Snow is to Eskimo
(Yes, I realize how absolutely nerdy that subtitle is.)
Even before our openness, Ginger was multi-orgasmic. Our explorations—continued fantasy play and experiences with others—have seemed to enhance this. More than ever, she is tuned into her own body. As she recently wrote on Swingset, this includes her ability to “think off,” or orgasm without any stimulation. She has as many words for different types orgasm as Eskimos do for snow. Some of them I can offer her with my body, mouth, and fingers. Other types only come with other lovers and how they uniquely fuck her (and what they fuck her with). The orgasms she has in our power exchange play—something we have yet to include others in—are of even a different quality, and others Os come only from the female touch. She’s discovered that she really loves to be the fucker over the past year…now owning a selection of harnesses and dildos for every occasion. There is a certain look that overcomes her when she fastens her harness and selects her cock…she fucks with a gusto that’d make any male porn star envious. And even more recently she’s taken a liking to pegging me…it’s amazingly hot for me to see Ginger over me with her sexy athletic body, stimulating my P-Spot with her hands all over my cock.
All of the ways that Ginger and I enjoy sex—and the different types of orgasms she has with me and with others couldn’t make me happier. When I deliberately go to my lizard brain and consider the idea that she can experience pleasure that I cannot provide, I expect to find some kind of jealousy, or maybe even more instinctually being threatened; yet, it doesn’t happen. When I reflect on something and think about how what I’m feeling differs from what I “should” feel, it is a clear sign that the predominant cultural forces still have influence over me. Going back to the previous paragraph, I had to stop and think whether I should disclose that I like Ginger to fuck me with her favorite dildo. Will people be turned off? Will they stop reading the blog? I’m not fishing for feedback. I’ve simply arrived at the conclusion for me: Fuck how we “should” act. And feel free to arrive at your own place. I may not be into it, but I certainly won’t judge it either.
Feeling Desirous Again
Ok, no more ranting to myself. The last thing to share—for this post at least—is that we are newly addicted to naked vacations. After a couple of years going to Hedo in Jamaica and enjoying general nakedness and the adult-spring-break vibe, we went last year to Desire with Swingercast. Whoa! Now THAT is a way to vacation. Relaxed. Playful. Classy. Sensual. You know you’ve found the right place to vacation when the adjectives to describe the place are the same ways you think of yourself. We are so excited to be headed back again, April 2011, once again with the Swingercast crew. John and Allie are terrific hosts and have attracted an amazing group of people to the event. We look forward to reconnecting (pun intended) with friends from the last vacation, as well as meeting new people, such as Bare Featz and Dani Sapphire from the LifestyleLife podcast. If you’re coming, be sure to join the Swingercast private Desire forum so we can all connect before the amazing week that is to come. According to their countdown clock, a mere 182 days to wait…
