Sunday, April 10, 2011

Are You Connected?

Ginger and I just returned from our pilgrimage to Desire. Reentry to normal life can be a jolt. The issue of wearing clothes is obvious, though there is not much sexy about naked New Englanders milling about outside during the cold spring months. Other differences are more subtle. Paying attention to these helps us create a "new normal"—that is, if we hold on and refuse to fall back to our old patterns.

I travel extensively for work. For me, travel is often an issue of energy conservation—I try to get from point A to point B with as much left in the tank as possible. Getting ready for a week at Desire required even more time on the road, right up to and including the day before the trip. Ginger and I talked sporadically over this time. We didn’t have much sex. Other than the concern that she may spontaneously combust without a regular release of erotic energy, we trust the ebb and flow knowing full well that these disruptions aren’t a sign of something wrong between us.

On the flight down to Cancun, I defaulted to my normal work mode paying scarce attention to the sexy woman next to me. I could blame it on the airplane WiFi. I could say I had to make sure everything was alright back at the office before heading out of town. There are lots of things I could tell myself, but in reality, it was a choice.

Fast forwarding past all the juicy details of our amazing trip (more forthcoming, we promise), Ginger and I didn’t stop talking with one another on the way home and all evening. We relived experiences. We made plans. We laughed. We cried. It was better than Cats.

The opportunities to invest our energy are endless. This is even more true as we become more connected virtually—not even the airplane is a reprieve from the outside world if you fork over the 10 bucks for a WiFi connection. The question is this: are these productive connections? Do they invigorate and refresh you with energy? Or are they sucking you dry? Where we connect is a choice. We may not be able to extricate ourselves immediately from non-productive choices, but my guess there are some immediate steps that move you in the right direction. I know there are for me.

For starters, where there is a hot woman sitting next to me on the plane, I commit to flirt and build the erotic connection—not with an expectation to “get laid” but instead in pure enjoyment of how that energy itself makes me happy. That should help the next million miles go by much more enjoyably.

Connecting with Ginger is—I don’t know how else to say this—it is an experience. She is a force of nature in all the best ways. Intelligent. Thoughtful. Focused. And sexually, she can overwhelm before even getting revved up fully. We always bring our A-game together. I ask myself: Do I really have to unplug from all the energy she brings to my life?

Vacations are often described as “recharging your batteries”. The problem is, these proverbial batteries are too easy to get depleted. How long does the vacation bump usually last? A day? The first hour back in the office? Batteries are, by definition, a disconnection.

I’m no longer going on battery. I’m staying connected—albeit, with a very long cord at times, but connected nonetheless.

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