Monday, July 20, 2009

The Drunk Dial

From the Desk of the Professor:

So Ginger and I have been talking for some time about the idea of blogging and, ultimately, podcasting. While we are both busy professionals and we like to keep things as simple as possible, we are passionate about our sex life (no pun intended) and we believe that sharing our perspectives can be both cathartic and stimulating.

Yes, I do intellectualize most everything. . .there is a reason that "The Professor" is an appropriate pen name. Maybe even more than one reason ;) But there is a time when try as I might, the experience just takes over. Like the first time I watched Ginger with another woman. For three hours. With no interaction. And it was the best sex I never had. That was an experience. In the immortal words of Crash Davis (Bull Durham): "Don't think, Meat, it can only hurt the ballclub."

Then again, you must always have a presence of mind, especially when you get drunk dialed. Apparently Crash wouldn't have been a very good swinger. . .

Some backstory is in order: We met Ginger's first female friend on Craigslist over three years ago already. We were so green to non-monogamy that we had no idea how rare it was to successfully use CL to connect with a real, let alone suitable, let alone extremely intelligent and sexy lady. She identified as a lesbian who enjoyed the occasional man, and that was right up our alley. We had many great times, both in and out of the bedroom. And for all the inquiring minds--yes, I was invited to join them in what turned out to be a very strong three-way sexual connection. But I digress. . .(re-focusing thoughts)

Our friend has been in a relationship with another woman for a little over a year. We see them regularly as a couple, and despite a healthy dose of sexual tension amongst all four of us, it's never spilled over to the bedroom. They've always expressed a keen interest in our adventures, and we invite them regularly to functions we host. We would never consider propositioning them. . .instead, simply enjoying their company (and having some good healthy fantasy sex involving both of them afterwards!). So last night comes the drunk dial. With a twist.

Sundays may not be a typical day for partying, but with a local festival wrapping up, it appeared to be a good time for our friends. Ginger and I were happily hanging out--post orgasmic in fact--when the phone rings and our friend announces that her and GF are coming over for a hot tub. Well, that sounds promising. Even at 11 pm on a Sunday. Complication number one: it appears that they are not alone; instead, they'll be bringing a single male friend along as well. In and of itself, not an overwhelming problem, though we don't typically invite single men we've never met over to our house. As Ginger is processing this with GF, complication number two comes to light: GF is not really "in" to the idea of being sexual, or having her partner be sexual, with this guy. And the couple hadn't talked in advance about the scenario or their boundaries. It was make-it-up-on-the-fly time with alcohol involved. That's a deal breaker.

To Ginger's absolute credit, she moved past the immediate excitement and prospect of engaging with two sexy ladies. She was able to see what many others would not have. Our friends thought of us when seeking a safe, secure place to explore. A true compliment. Ginger saw our friends risking too much in their own relationship, without a foundation of shared expectations. A true act of friendship.

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